May 20, 2007 - I Forgot- Why Was I Worried About That?

Scripture Meditation: Philippians 4:6-7

INTRODUCTION

• I know you're never supposed to say you'll never do something
• But I can tell you I will never get behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle and drive coast-to-coast
• I know some of you have done it and loved every minute of it
• Terrific- I'm happy for you
• But it's definitely not my idea of a good time
• See- I hate to get in a car and have to drive some place
• Wednesday I was on the road for six hours
• I went to Henderson to assist in the funeral of a good friend
• I wanted to be there- but I hated the process of GETTING there
• Generally speaking-
• I'll drive to the beach or the mountains
• But unless I can fly- that's about as far as I'm going to go
• The truth is I don't like the person I become when I'm stuck in the driver's seat
• Let's put it this: When I'm driving on an interstate I fantasize about having a rocket propelled grenade launcher to incinerate...
• Every tractor-trailer that runs 18 inches from my back bumper
• All the SUV's that shine halogen headlights in my eyes
• And every car that flashes its lights for me to move over when I going 73 in a 70 mile per hour zone
• Here's my problem
• Driving a car scares me
• I can get on a commercial jetliner and feel as safe as I feel sitting in my living room
• But as far as I'm concerned cars are death traps
• The less time I spend in them- the better I like

TRANSITIONAL REMARKS

• So there you go- I've admitted one of the things that stress me out
• What about you?
• What kinds of things:
• Make you lose sleep at night?
• Fill your life with dread and worry?
• Cause your blood pressure to surge to near stroke-inducing levels?
• The truth is that unless you are the most laid-back person on the face of the Earth- you came here this morning concerned about something.
• It could be your...
• Health
• Marriage
• Children
• Job situation
• Family finances
• It could be that you're...
• Facing a major life-decision in the near future
• Deeply concerned for a friend or loved one
• Dealing with some sort of spiritual crisis
• Struggling with grief or depression
• Simply a victim of a hurried-up, stressed-out rat-race lifestyle
• Well-
• If you came here this morning worried about something
• What I'm about to say is going to give you one more thing to worry about
• Did you know that by worrying you are sinning against God?
• What are you talking about Steve?
• Worrying may not be good for me.
• God may not want me to worry.
• But to say that worrying is a sin against God. That's crazy talk!

WHY WORRY & ANXIETY ARE SINS AGAINST GOD

• Actually- it's not crazy at all
• It's the clear teaching of God's Word
• Let me try to explain
• Now to do that we have to go back and understand what sin is
• Most people think sin is something that you do
• But that's not quite right. Ultimately sin is rooted in a lack of trust in God
• Turn with me to Genesis 3:1-5
• Until this moment Eve had never had any reason to doubt or question God
• Every need that she and Adam had was supplied by their Heavenly Father
• They enjoyed an intimacy and joy in their relationship with God that most of us can only dream about
• Given that- notice what the serpent is doing here: He's placing a seed of doubt in Eve's mind
• Did God really say that?
• Don't you think that a loving God would let you eat fruit from every tree found in the Garden?
• Why is your so-called ‘heavenly Father' depriving you of something?
• Do you really believe He has your best interests at heart?
• And- by the way- did He REALLY threaten you with death if you eat the fruit from that tree?
• What kind of God would do something like that?
• Do you honestly think you can trust a God like that?
• Now look what it says in verse 6
• Eve's mounting doubt and anxiety caused her to sin against God
• What happened is that fear caused her to question God's love and protection and care
• And that's why she fell into sin
• Do you see the point I'm driving at?
• Worry is a sin
• Because worry is a symptom of a fundamental lack of faith and trust in God
• Now at this point you may be thinking: Steve- I got it. Anxiety is a sin.
• The problem is: What am I supposed to do with all the worry and anxiety I've been experiencing lately?
• I mean it's one thing to know that God doesn't want me to worry. But how do ‘let go' of my worries when they're keeping me awake at 2:00 in the morning!

GOD'S ANSWER TO YOUR ANXIETY: PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

• Basically this is the question Paul is addressing in Philippians 4:6-7
• You know, if anyone ever had the right to be anxious and worried about the future- Paul was that person
• From the moment he became a Christian Paul's life was filled with stress, persecution, anxiety and despair
• In other words: The man who wrote do not be anxious about anything
• Wasn't some religious philosopher- sitting in an ivory tower- clueless about what it's like to struggle with the stress and strain of the real world
• Instead, Paul was a real man whose faith had been severely tested by fire
• If you want a good example of what I'm talking about turn with me to Acts 16:20-25
• Folks, a man who starts a worship service in a Roman jail cell at midnight is either crazy
• OR he's discovered the secret to overcoming the fear and anxiety that's cluttering up your life
• In Philippians 4:6-7 Paul is sharing the truth he had learned to live by. I want you to notice what he does:
• First of all he establishes a basic, Biblical principle: Do not be anxious about anything...
• Followed by some practical, spiritual advice: But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God...
• Ending with a wonderful promise: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...
• Now in the time we have remaining this morning I want us to carefully examine these two verses of Scripture

*REMEMBER- GOD CARES FOR YOU

• Sometimes people wonder if there are any limits to God's loving concern for you and me
• After all- God's got a lot on His hands- what with having to govern the entire UNIVERSE
• Logic would suggest that God shouldn't be bothered with the petty problems and concerns we have in our life
• Well let me ask you a question: If your child or grandchild comes to you with a legitimate problem-
• Do you try to sweep it under the rug and claim you're too busy to be bothered?
• Of course not! As a good parent you'll do everything in your power to help your child!
• Well, read what Jesus says in Luke 11:11-13
• In other words: Look- you're a fallen sinner- and you know how to love and care for your children...
• Well- multiply that love and concern a thousand times over- and you'll only BEGIN to understand how much your Heavenly Father loves and cares for YOU!
• Illustration: To Be Truly Alone
A)
• From 1986 to 1990, Frank Reed was held hostage by Hamas militants in southern Lebanon
• For months at a time Reed would be blindfolded, chained to a wall and kept in absolute silence.
• Despite the torture he endured, Reed says that the thing that bothered him most was the fact that no one seemed to care about who he was- or what he was going through
• Years later he told an interviewer: I felt like nothing I did mattered to anyone. I began to realize how (terrible) it is to exist (without) a single expression of (compassion and concern)... I learned one overriding fact: Caring is a powerful force. If no one cares, you are truly alone.
• Read Matthew 6:25-33
• I hope you're able to read between the lines and understand what Jesus is saying here:
• As a born-again child of God you can confidently go to your Heavenly Father about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING
• Because you know- beyond a shadow of a doubt-that your Heavenly Father cares about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that happens to you!

*DON'T FORGET TO PRAY

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God...

• Illustration: Mr. Jones Goes To Heaven
• Many of you have read Bruce Wilkinson's The Prayer Of Jabez
• Wonderful book
• Filled with spiritual insights that can change your life
• In the book Dr. Wilkinson shares a story I want to share with you this morning
• It's called Mr. Jones Goes To Heaven
• Read beginning on page 25
• Folks- God wants you to stop worrying about the problems and challenges you face in life- and start PRAYING!
• Bring Him a heart filled with worship and thanksgiving
• Spend all the time you need telling your Heavenly Father EXACTLY what's going on in your life
• Now don't get me wrong: God already knows everything you're going to tell Him
• But you need to tell Him anyway!
• In Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus says:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

• I'm not one of those name it- claim it preachers
• But if you're worried about anything this morning you need to name and claim Matthew 7:7-8
• It is one of the most glorious promises you will find ANYWHERE in the Bible

*DEPEND ON THE GRACE OF GOD

• Illustration: Migraine Headache
• Before I was admitted to the Botox study I constantly struggled with migraine headaches
• Probably will be struggling with them again as soon as the study is over
• Please pray that Blue Cross/Blue Shield will begin to pay for these treatments
• Let me tell you something about having a migraine:
• When you're in the grips of a full-blown migraine attack your world becomes very, very small
• The only thing you're aware of- the only thing you're focused on- is the pain radiating from that six inch spot on the side of your head
• Basically the same thing happens in your spiritual life when you become crippled with worry and anxiety
• After awhile the only thing you're aware of- the only thing you can focus on- is the problem you're struggling with at that moment
• Somehow you forget about the fact that the Bible says that...
• God is big enough and strong enough and powerful enough to handle whatever problem you've got in your life
• In fact- God has something fantastic He wants to do in your life!
• Read what Paul says in verse 7:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...

• In other words: God wants to replace the turmoil of anxiety
• With a peace that goes beyond anything you can dream of!
• Paul discovered this truth as he struggled with his thorn in the flesh

2 Corinthians 12:7

• Nobody knows exactly what Paul's thorn was
• It may have been...
• A physical illness
• A spiritual struggle
• An obnoxious person who was making his life miserable
• Or some kind of burden that caused Paul a great deal of anxiety
• But whatever it was- it created an enormous amount of pain and sorrow in Paul's life

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

• Three times-
• Paul explicitly and specifically asked God to remove this burden from his life
• And three times God said: I'm not going to do that- but you are going to learn that my grace is sufficient for you
• The word sufficient means everything you need- enough to satisfy your present, and future, needs
• When you think of it this way you can see why God considers worry to be a sin
• Worry/Faith says:
• God, I'm not sure I can trust you to take care of me- to satisfy my present, and future, needs
• God- I'm going to trust You because I KNOW You love me and will
• ALWAYS
take care of me.
• And you know what Paul discovered?
• God's grace was all he needed!
• With God's grace in his life Paul realized he was able to experience joys and victories that went beyond he could even imagine!
• In other words: God removed the anxiety
• And replaced it with a spirit of VICTORY!
• I want you to read what Paul writes in Ephesians 3:16-21

CONCLUSION

• I want you to close your eyes for a minute and picture the scene I'm about to describe
• I want you to imagine that I've just handed you a large cardboard box
• Now I want you to picture yourself taking the most pressing worry you've got in your life- and placing it inside that box
• If it's kind of fragile- if you're afraid it'll get broken
• Don't worry- we've got plenty of those styrofoam packing peanuts- just toss ‘em in there
• Now I want you to close that box and seal it tight with duct tape-
• Put as many layers of tape as you think it needs
• I don't want you to worry that it might burst open during transit
• Now I want you to take that box- filled with the most pressing worry in your life- and address it to God
• (Pause) Now I want you to open your eyes
• Folks, that's a picture of what happens when you pray
• Prayer transfers all of the anxieties and concerns that are making your life miserable- and entrusts them to the safe keeping of your loving Heavenly Father

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

• Let us pray

May 13, 2007 BEING A P-A-R-E-N-T

INTRODUCTION

• Nancy Kerns once sent Pam and me a card for Pastor Appreciation Week
• In the card she expressed her love for the two of us- and offered some warm words of encouragement
• She closed the card by saying that she hoped we would be at SRBC for many years to come: I want to see what you'll be like as grandparents.
• (Turn to Nancy) We're pathetic aren't we?
• We are hopelessly, helplessly, madly in love with our granddaughter
• I know Vivi is just ten months old- but to me she is the sun, the moon and the stars above
• I've learned what so many of you have told me for years:
• Being a grandparent is great!
• There's nothing like it in all the world
• And it's got nothing to do with that spoil ‘em and send ‘em home stuff
• That an old cliché that needs to be killed off once and for all
• The last thing a grandparent should want to do is make their child's job as a parent more difficult
• To me there are two great things about being a grandparent
• One is the joy of having a baby around with none of the stress and strain that goes with being Mommy & Daddy
• And two is the blessing of seeing your own children become good parents

TRANSITIONAL REMARKS

• Folks- we have some very good young parents around here
• Parents who-
• Understand that their child is a gift from God
• Embrace their children with a healthy dose of unconditional love
• Can be trusted to protect and care for their kids
• Are committed to rearing their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
• I'm proud of them- I thank God for them- and so should you!
• How many of you have children living in your home?
• On behalf of your church family: Thank you!
• You have the one of the hardest, most demanding, most challenging jobs in all the world
• That's why I want to talk about your job this morning
• And here's the way we're going to do it. We're going to take the word parent: P-A-R-E-N-T
• And make an acrostic that will help you understand what it means to be a Christian parent

P- PERSON

• The first letter of the word parent is P and we're going to let the P stand for PERSON
• A talented and God-gifted person for sure
• But at the end of the day a simple human being
• I know many of you watch the sitcom Scrubs^®
• Anybody remember the first two lines of the show's theme song?
• I can't do this all on my own. I'm no superman.
• Parents-
• God hasn't called you to be a superman or a superwoman
• And He doesn't expect you to be a so-called perfect parent
• There is only one perfect parent
• And He resides in heaven!
• What God HAS called you to do is rear your children to become mature, self-controlled, Spirit-filled men and women of God
• Which is a breathtakingly difficult job for a simple human being
• After Matthew was born it stressed me out so bad I went to the doctor thinking I was about to have a heart attack
• But here's what I've learned over the years: When God asks you to do something for Him
• He is ALWAYS willing to provide the help, strength and guidance you need to accomplish the task
• All you need to do is learn to depend on Him

Proverbs 3:5-6

• Please- if you don't get anything else out of this sermon please take this to heart
• You are a human being- an imperfect person
• That's why you MUST look to your Heavenly Father for the wisdom you need to fulfill your God-given responsibilities as a parent

A-AUTHORITY

• The second letter in parent is A and we're going to let the A stand for AUTHORITY
• Parents- make no mistake about it: God intends for you to have authority over your children
• Now the word authority means: The power to command, determine, influence or judge
• What does this mean in the context of parenting?
• It means you have to be an adult
• You have to exercise control and be THE authority-figure in your home

Proverbs 22:6

Ephesians 6:4

• I know some of you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of being an authority figure
• Maybe you think: But I want to be my child's friend
• Well let me put in this way:
• That may be what you want-
• But it's most definitely NOT what your child needs
• Children need parents who will exercise godly authority in their life. This means...
• You set- and enforce- the standards they will live by
• You create reasonable- but challenging expectations for your child
• You establish the boundaries for what is acceptable behavior from your child
• The bottom line is: YOU are the adult- and THEY are the child
• And don't YOU forget it
• And don't YOU let THEM forget it
• Illustration: What I Learned
• When I was growing up I didn't always like the rules my parents expected me to follow
• From time-to-time I'd...raise perfectly logical objections
• I'd ask: Why do I have to do this? or Why can't I do that?
• But the answer would be the same: Because we are your parents
• They didn't even bother to add the caveat and we said so
• The fact that they were my parents meant I had to obey them
• Now it's a good idea to explain the reasons behind the rules you set for your children
• For one thing- you generally get more cooperation when you do
• And the process of explaining gives you a golden opportunity to talk about your faith and values with your kids
• But if push comes to shove- and your children try to insist on their own way
• Stand firm- exercise authority in your home
• It is your right and responsibility as a Christian parent

R-RADICAL

• The third letter in parent is R and we're going to let the R stand for RADICAL
• The word radical simply means different- and that's what you have to understand as a parent
• Each of your children is different
• Even though they're growing up in the same home- each one is different from the other

Psalm 139:13-16

• You know- God has an amazing ability-
• To take a basic form- the human mind and body
• And create uniquely individual human beings
• My brother Bob and I illustrate this point
• Bob is.../ On the other hand I...
• A brilliant mathematician- he's chairman of the Department of Mathematics at Gardner-Webb University
• Hated algebra, struggled with geometry, and wouldn't have been caught dead in a calculus class
• Bob can.../ I...
• Go two years without picking up a golf club- and shoot a round in the upper 70's or low 80's
• Rarely go two weeks without playing- and can't break 90 for the life of me
• Of course I am also older, thinner and better looking than he is- so it all balances out
• I've even got more hair than he's got
• But as the choir can tell you...we're not talking about all that much in either case!
• Look- I've never bought into the theory that says you should treat each of your children the same
• Now you should LOVE them equally and unconditionally
• But as a parent- you MUST-
• Recognize the differences in each of your children
• Respect those differences as the perfect choice of an awesome and infallible Creator God
• And then respond to each of your children as their individual needs dictate
• It's not easy
• It's simpler to follow a one size fits all model of parenting
• But if you want your children to be all that God created them to be- you've got to be a radical parent

E-ENVIRONMENTALIST

• The fourth letter in parent is E and we're going to let the E stand for ENVIRONMENTALIST
• Now I'll be honest:
• I accept the science that says global warming is a reality- and a catastrophic threat for the future
• I also believe that we as Christians-
• Who are charged with caring for God's creation
• We ought to be willing to make lifestyle changes- even if it means paying higher taxes- to stop it before it's too late
• But that's not what I'm talking about when I say parents have to be environmentalists
• The environment I'm talking about is your home
• Specifically the responsibility you have to protect your child from the violence, filth and immorality that passes for popular culture in America today
• Think about it. On television...
• Network programs like CSI^® depict sex, violence and nudity in a way that would have been unimaginable 20 years ago
• And heaven knows almost anything goes on cable- particularly on the movie channels like HBO^®, Cinemax^® and Showtime^®
• The Internet is one of the greatest educational resources that has ever been invented
• Your child can find EVERYTHING on the Web with a few clicks of the mouse
• Unfortunately everything also includes access to the vilest, more hardcore pornography imaginable
• And then you've got things like:
• Violent, sexually explicit video games and movies- pop music that comes with Parental Advisories
• I mean the list just goes on-and-on-and-on
• The question is:
• How are you supposed to rear healthy kids in this kind of environment?
• Well- there are several things you have to do
• First of all- know what's going on out there
• Don't pretend that it doesn't exist
• And don't think your kids aren't exposed to it- they are
• Second- exercise self discipline
• The entertainment choices you make can- and do- affect your children
• That means YOU may have to skip the latest movie- or get rid of some DVD's- or listen to a different playlist on your iPod^®
• Third- provide your kids with other choices
• There are a lot of good and wholesome entertainment options out there
• They're a little harder to find- but they are available
• Fourth- when your child IS exposed to inappropriate material treat it as a teachable moment
• Talk to your kids about why...a certain scene depicted behavior that was morally wrong
• And more importantly- teach them what Jesus would expects them to do in similar circumstances
• And finally- don't be afraid to say NO
• Be willing to take the tough stand
• Tell your kids you won't let them-
• See certain movies
• Or play particular video games
• Or listen to some kinds of music
• Now if they're teenagers they might yell- or scream- or pout
• But remember: You are the parent
• And that means that ultimately God expects you to control the kind of environment that exists in your home

N-NUDIST

• The fifth letter in parent is N and we're going to let the N stand for NUDIST
• Now don't be shocked
• And don't think this means you have to sashay around the house in your birthday suit
• What I mean by nudist is that you need to be transparent with your children. In other words:
• If you make a mistake- or you say or do the wrong thing
• You make sure your child hears you say the words: I'm sorry. I was wrong
• Read what the Bible says:
• Ephesians 6:4
• James 5:16
• James Dobson says that children in general- and teenagers in particular- have a highly developed sense of justice
• Kids EXPECT to be disciplined when they do something wrong
• They may not LIKE it
• But they expect it
• But they also expect justice to cut both ways
• The fastest way to loose your child's respect is to demand something from them
• That you won't apply to yourself
• Illustration: Apologizing To Matthew
• I remember one time- Matthew was about 6-7 years old- Pam had gone shopping
• Anyway I thought Matthew had done something I had told him not to do
• So I punished him: Sit down in that chair and don't move a muscle ‘til I tell you to
• Anyway- 5 minutes later Pam gets home- and I find out she'd done the thing I was punishing Matthew for
• Immediately I went to him and said: I'm so sorry Bud. I was punishing you for something you hadn't done. Will you please forgive me?
• I'll never forget he hopped out of the chair- smiled- and said: It's o-k Daddy! I forgive you!
• Moms and Dads- let's face it:
• We ALL screw up from time-to-time
• Let's learn to be mature enough to admit it-
• And then move on!
• It will be a lesson in Christ-like behavior your children will never forget

T-THEOLOGIAN

• The sixth- and final- letter in parent is T and we're going to let the T stand for THEOLOGIAN
• A theologian is someone who studies the truth of God- and then interprets those truths for others
• That's your job as a parent
• You're supposed to know the truths of God's Word so you can teach them to your children

Deuteronomy 11:18-21

• Now read what the Bible says in Acts 4:12
• Parents- the most important thing you will do for your child is to teach them the essential truths of God's Word
• Help them learn God's precepts and principles
• Live out a life of faith that boldly proclaims God's amazing grace and love
• Don't just send them to church- bring them to God's House on God's Day
• And finally- be prepared to sit down with them and share the Plan of Salvation
• For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God of God
• For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord
• God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
• Believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved
• Sometimes parents will ask me: Steve is my son or daughter old enough to make a public profession of faith, join the church and be baptized?
• The truth is- You know your child a lot better than I do
• I'm convinced some kids are ready to make that decision when they're six or seven years old
• Other children are a little older before they understand what it means to receive Jesus as their personal Savior and Lord
• But here's what I DO know:
• It's NEVER too early to tell your child about God's love
• Lay those foundations early- and trust God to do the rest
• Illustration: Austin
• A couple of weeks ago Debbie Medlin shared a story about her son Austin
• It seems she was working out in the garage and Austin asked her if he could have some nails
• Debbie knew Rodney had showed Austin how to safely use a hammer and nail
• So she gave him a few nails without really giving it a second thought
• In a little while Austin came back into the garage.
• He'd used the nails to make a cross
• He told Debbie: We need to put this up on this wall so we don't forget what Jesus did
• Isn't that awesome?
• Here is a young child who understands the fundamental truth of God's Word
• Here is a child whose parents- and grandparents- are teaching him the truths of the Bible
• Here is a child who will undoubtedly receive Jesus as his personal Savior and Lord some day
• During our revival Mark Harris made this observation: We teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are
• As a parent- you are your child's primary teacher
• If you live a life of faith- and teach them God's Word- you WILL reproduce an adult who will
• Stand up and be counted for God
• And- in turn- teach THEIR children about the love of God in Christ Jesus

CONCLUSION

• The great philosopher and humanitarian Kermit the Frog once lamented that it's not easy being green
• Kermit should try being a parent
• Now that's just plain HARD!
• But it's also rewarding
• It's rewarding when your child comes up to you and gives you a big hug and kiss
• It's rewarding when you watch them receive Christ as their Savior and follow Jesus in believer's baptism
• It's rewarding when you see your child mature and learn to make good choices in life
• It's rewarding when you see them marry and start a family of their own
• But the greatest reward for being a good parent will come when you stand before God and hear Him say:
• Well done good and faithful servant! You fulfilled the responsibility I gave you to rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Come and share your Master's happiness
• What an honor and privilege THAT will be
• Let us pray

May 6, 2007 - I'M TELLING YOU AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS

• The title for this morning's message is not original
• Which is a nice way of saying that I stole it from someone else
• In this case the person I stole it from is Jerry Seinfeld
• After finishing his legendary television series Seinfeld taped a comedy special
• In the show Jerry-
• Rehashed some of his funniest and most requested routines from the past
• Warning the audience that this was the last time he would ever use that material
• Hence the title I'm Telling You Again For The Last Time
• I wish that were the case with this morning's sermon
• See today we're going to talk about practicing the Christian virtue of forgiveness
• Over the years I've preached a lot of sermons on forgiveness
• I'd like to THINK this would be the last time I'd ever have to go over this with you
• But I know it won't be
• See here's the thing:
• No matter how long you've been saved- no matter how many sermons you've heard preached on the subject
• Practicing forgiveness will always be extremely difficult
• See practicing forgiveness flies in the face of every instinct we have as human beings
• Human reason says: They hurt you once- make sure they NEVER get a chance to hurt you again
• Human memory says: I'm NEVER going to let you ‘let go' of this thing
• Human nature says: Someone's hurt you! Don't even THINK about forgiving them!
• As if all this wasn't enough-
• Satan is always in there fanning the flames
• Practice forgiveness? Don't be a FOOL!
• Burn the memory of this event into your brain
• Then pledge to get even! Hurt them as badly as they hurt you!
• But you know what folks?
• Following those human instincts inevitably leads to misery and spiritual bondage
• On the other hand- Making the decision to practice forgiveness leads to a sense of freedom and spiritual joy that transcends human understanding
• So this morning I want to share seven simple steps...
• That will help you learn how to practice the art of forgiveness
• And discover the kind of peace that only God can bring

REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU!

• The first step in this process is so simple it should be self-evident: Remember that God has already forgiven you!
• Turn with me to Matthew 18:23-35
• Doesn't this story make your blood boil?
• You'd think that after what the king had done for him- this man would have been ready to show a little mercy to the man who owed him money
• But there was a problem: Nothing had changed in this man's life:
• He walked into the palace a thief and a con artist
• And he walked out with nothing but contempt in his heart: What kind of IDIOT would forgive a debt like that? Anyone that STUPID doesn't deserve my respect- and has no business being my king!
• If you're a Christian- if you've received Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord- you need to remember what that means:
• It means that Jesus has done something for you that you could NEVER do for yourself
• It means that you've been saved by God's amazing grace- and that all your works and good deeds had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it
• It means you've been forgiven a debt you could never HOPE to repay in a thousand lifetimes!
• And all your Heavenly Father asks you to do- as an expression of thanksgiving and worship
• Is to practice forgiveness
• He wants you to share with others what you've received in your own life!
• Now if you...
• Truly love God- and appreciate what He's done for you- you'll have all the motivation you need
• Scorn God- and believe His grace is the evidence of a weak-minded loser- you'll be like the ungrateful servant
• Lost in your sin
• Imprisoned by a dark, sinister bitterness that will ultimately destroy you
• So the first step in following God's plan of forgiveness is to remember that you've been forgiven by the grace of God

TURN THE PAIN OVER TO GOD

• Here's a fact: It hurts to be the victim of sin
• Sometimes the pain is physical- sometimes it's emotional- and sometimes the pain is spiritual
• But being victimized by sin ALWAYS hurts
• And if that hurt is left to fester- it will INEVITABLY produce an unforgiving spirit
• Listen to what the Bible says in Psalm 37:7-8
• One of the ironies of harboring hatred and rage is that ultimately the only person it hurts is YOU!
• Rather than being able to move on and experience the joy and abundant life Jesus wants to give you
• You wind up stuck in the past constantly wrestling with-
• The same old hurts
• The same old pains
• The same old heartbreaks
• When you're caught up in this vicious cycle the only answer is to turn the hurt over to God
• Illustration: Jack
• When a friend of mine began to make his peace with a painful past he told me something I'll never forget
• For years I tried to suppress the memories of the beatings I'd received when my dad was in a drunken rage. I wanted to pretend Dad loved me like other fathers loved their sons.
• But it didn't work. I was forty-six years old- and I was still struggling with stuff that happened to me when I was seven...
• Finally I told God: ‘Lord- it hurts to know that my dad didn't love me'- and He told me: ‘But Jack- I'm your Heavenly Father- and I DO love you!'
• Folks- when your heart is filled with bitterness and resentment and anger
• God doesn't recoil in horror
• Instead He reaches out in love and says: Let me take care of that.
• And with those words He'll heal the painful wounds
• And give you a heart that is overflowing with joy- and a willingness to forgive!

DON'T TRY TO DO THINGS YOU CAN NOT DO

• Have you ever heard someone say something like this: As a Christian you're supposed to forgive and FORGET?
• Unless you've been living under a rock all your life-I'm sure you have
• It's one of those things people- who have nothing but good intentions- say that can drive you crazy
• I mean as if it's not hard enough to practice forgiveness in the first place
• Now they expect you to erase all the memories of the event from your brain
• Fact: There is NOTHING in the Bible that suggests God expects you to forgive and forget
• You heard me right- NOTHING
• In His infinite wisdom God created you- and gave you the gift of memory
• And unless you develop amnesia or Alzheimer's disease
• You're not going to forget things that have happened in the past
• Do you think Erin Sheehan will ever forget what happened to her during the Virginia Tech massacre?
• Not likely- not after Chou Seung Hui left her with the scars of three gunshot wounds
• For the rest of her life she'll see those bullet wounds every time she changes clothes- and she'll remember the events of April 16, 2007
• ...Now it's different where God is concerned
• When a person receives Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord
• The Bible says that an All Powerful, All Gracious, All Loving God chooses to remember their sin no more

Isaiah 43:25

• Folks- as human beings we don't get to make that choice
• The simple fact is that some things are so painful- so scarring- so devastating- that you'll NEVER be able to forget them
• Thinking that you have to that is one of the most vicious lies Satan can place in your mind
• You see, the Bible is really asking us to do something that's more difficult than forgiving and forgetting
• The Bible instructs us to practice forgiveness
• Even though we remember the sin
• And that's tough
• That takes- make that REQUIRES- God's help
• And of which brings me to the next step in the forgiveness process...

PRAY FOR A WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE

• Turn with me to Matthew 6:9-13
• I want you to notice what Jesus says in verse 12: Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
• Jesus is teaching you to pray for a heart that is WILLING to forgive others for the sins and wrongs they've committed against you
• And folks
• Until you're ready to pray this prayer- and really mean it
• You'll NEVER be able to practice the kind of forgiveness God requires!
• For many years Dr. Tom Elliff served as a Southern Baptist missionary in Zimbabwe
• Today he is pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dell City, Oklahoma
• In a sermon entitled Praying For The Grace To Forgive he told this story:

...Not long after my family and I went to Africa, my wife and children were involved in a very serious accident, leaving my eldest daughter critically injured. Lying in a hospital, she was for a time at the very point of death. The third day following the accident, I received a phone call from a police officer in a town not far from where the accident occurred. He asked me to come to his office so we could discuss some matters regarding the incident. I assumed that the purpose of our discussion was to inform me that since it was a single vehicle accident, my wife was going to be charged with negligence. Instead he said, "We believe the accident occurred because someone tampered with your vehicle." He then proceeded to show me photographs and other evidence to support his conclusion. He believed that the accident was caused by individuals wanting to steal the vehicle. We agreed that a search for the guilty parties would be fruitless. That evening as I traveled back to our hometown, I felt anger boiling in my heart. I wanted to scream out to God, "Where were You when we needed You?" Upon arriving at our house, I fell on my knees and said, "Dear God, I came to this country to minister to these people, but I feel so angry. You are going to have to teach me how to forgive."

• Folks- to date the Human Genome project has detected no forgiveness gene located on human DNA
• That's why you have to PRAY that God will place a willingness to forgive in your heart
• Because without that gift you will NEVER be able to experience the joy of practicing Christian forgiveness

CONFRONT THE ONE WHO HAS SINNED AGAINST YOU IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE

• Turn with me to Matthew 18:15-17
• Now we come to the hard part
• You might be thinking: Steve- you think everything you've talking about so far isn't hard?
• No- that's not what I mean at all
• Practicing forgiveness is hard work- PERIOD
• But this may be the hardest part of all
• See- what you have here is Jesus' 4-step process for being reconciled with someone who has sinned against you. Notice what He says:
• First- you go to that person and lovingly confront them with the pain they've caused in your life
• If that doesn't work- you bring a mutual Christian friend to talk with the person
• If those two steps fail to achieve a reconciliation- then you bring the person before the assembled church
• If all these steps don't work- you're still not off the hook
• At that point you are to treat them like a pagan or a tax collector.
• In other words: Treat them like someone who is outside the kingdom of God
• And what do you do for someone who's outside the kingdom of God?
• You pray for them!
• You ask God to work in their life so that they will come to know Jesus as their personal Savior and Lord
• A lot of people are going to read these verses of Scripture and think: I can't do that! I hate confrontations.
• Folks- Jesus isn't trying to make you have a lifetime of painful showdowns with other people
• It's just that He knows that this is the ONLY way to be fully reconciled with someone who's sinned against you
• Look- there is a power in the words I'm sorry- will you forgive me?
• When a sinner says those words to God He forgives them of their sin, and saves them for all eternity
• When one person says them to another person- they have the power to heal and redeem even the worst anger and division

ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE OTHER PERSON'S RESPONSE

• Illustration: Vicki's Heartbreak
• Vicki Thompson was heartbroken when she learned that her husband had had an affair
• She felt betrayed and angry and depressed
• But being a committed Christian Vicki wanted to make her marriage work
• So she sought out pastoral counseling, prayed about the situation and decided to seek a reconciliation with her husband
• Suffice it to say: It didn't go the way Vicki hoped
• She told her husband how badly she'd been hurt- but that she was willing to forgive him and start over again
• His response cut her to the bone: I'm not sorry about what I did- I do it again tomorrow if I could. The fact is I don't love you anymore- I want a divorce!
• Folks- a lot of people have these kinds of experiences when they try to practice forgiveness
• Perhaps the other person won't ask for your forgiveness or even acknowledge the pain they've caused
• Sometimes you can't even contact the person who hurt you
• This is what happens to a lot of people who were abused as children
• The perpetrator of the abuse may not even be alive
• The question is: What happens then?
• Well- if you've done all that God has asked you to do- you don't have to worry!
• God isn't going hold you responsible for the other person's reaction
• Look- God knows what you're going through!
• He's offered His gift of salvation to anyone who will confess their sin- and ask Jesus to be their Savior
• It breaks His heart when people reject this offer of grace and forgiveness
• But that's what people do
• Everyday people say NO to God
• Trust me-
• When someone rebuffs your efforts at reconciliation
• An understanding God is going to say: Child, don't worry about that! You've done what I've asked YOU to do- and I'm going to bless you because you've been faithful to Me!

BE RECONCILED TO ONE ANOTHER

• BUT- let's say the person repents and asks for your forgiveness. What do you do then?
• It's simple:
• You must forgive them of the sin
• And be reconciled to them as an act of worship and obedience to God
• IOW: You have to make a choice to love that person and treat them as if the sin had never happened
• If you want to know what it means to love someone like that- turn with me over to 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
• There it is folks- the final step in God's plan of forgiveness
• Show another person that you love them in the name of Jesus!
• Not because it's easy- or because they're particularly lovable- or because they deserve to be forgiven
• Do it because you're a born-again child of God
• And you are grateful for the difference Jesus has made in your life!

CONCLUSION

• Sue Norton couldn't imagine why anyone would want to harm her elderly father
• After all, he-
• Lived in a clapboard farmhouse
• Didn't have a lot of money- or many material possessions
• But in 1990 a drifter named B.K. Knighton murdered Sue's father for $17.00 and an old pick-up truck
• Police quickly apprehended Knighton and charged him with first-degree murder
• During the trial Sue sat in the courthouse with ambivalent feelings
• She wanted to hate Knighton- but she couldn't. She kept telling her friends: It just doesn't feel good.
• On the last night of the trial- Sue ...
• Couldn't sleep- so she began to pray pouring out her pain and confusion to God
• Finally- in her spirit- she heard a voice that said: Sue, you don't have to hate BK. You can forgive him.
• The next morning she asked for the opportunity to meet Knighton in his jail cell.
• Sue says: I was really frightened...B.K. was big and tall, he was shackled and had cold, steely eyes.
• At first he wouldn't look at me. Finally I asked him to turn around and he said: ‘Why would you want to talk to me after what I've done?'
• Sue looked in his eyes and said: I don't know what to say to you. But I want you to know that I don't hate you. My grandmother always taught me not to use the word hate. She taught me that we are here to love one another. If you are guilty, I forgive you.
• B.K. Knighton was convicted of first-degree murder later that afternoon- and sentenced to death
• During his years on death row Sue would visit him regularly and talk about her relationship with Christ
• Because of her friendship B.K. came to know Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and Lord
• Eventually the state of Oklahoma executed Knighton for the murder of Sue Norton's father
• That was hard for Sue. She thought B.K. should spend the rest of his life in prison
• But she didn't want to see him executed. She wanted him to be able to continue to share his faith with other prisoners
• After B.K.'s death Sue began to travel the country sharing her experiences with church groups and civic organizations
• She always tells them the same thing: There is no way to heal and get over the trauma (of murder) without forgiveness. You must forgive...and get on with your life. That is what Jesus would do.
• She even celebrates the good that came from it: I have been able to witness to many people about Jesus and forgiveness and helped others to heal. I have brought ...many other men on death row to our Lord Jesus Christ. I live in peace with my Lord! (www.catherineblountfnd.org)
• Practicing the Christian virtue of forgiveness.
• It's never easy
• But it brings spiritual blessings that are impossible to measure or comprehend.
• Let us pray