May 13, 2007 BEING A P-A-R-E-N-T

INTRODUCTION

• Nancy Kerns once sent Pam and me a card for Pastor Appreciation Week
• In the card she expressed her love for the two of us- and offered some warm words of encouragement
• She closed the card by saying that she hoped we would be at SRBC for many years to come: I want to see what you'll be like as grandparents.
• (Turn to Nancy) We're pathetic aren't we?
• We are hopelessly, helplessly, madly in love with our granddaughter
• I know Vivi is just ten months old- but to me she is the sun, the moon and the stars above
• I've learned what so many of you have told me for years:
• Being a grandparent is great!
• There's nothing like it in all the world
• And it's got nothing to do with that spoil ‘em and send ‘em home stuff
• That an old cliché that needs to be killed off once and for all
• The last thing a grandparent should want to do is make their child's job as a parent more difficult
• To me there are two great things about being a grandparent
• One is the joy of having a baby around with none of the stress and strain that goes with being Mommy & Daddy
• And two is the blessing of seeing your own children become good parents

TRANSITIONAL REMARKS

• Folks- we have some very good young parents around here
• Parents who-
• Understand that their child is a gift from God
• Embrace their children with a healthy dose of unconditional love
• Can be trusted to protect and care for their kids
• Are committed to rearing their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
• I'm proud of them- I thank God for them- and so should you!
• How many of you have children living in your home?
• On behalf of your church family: Thank you!
• You have the one of the hardest, most demanding, most challenging jobs in all the world
• That's why I want to talk about your job this morning
• And here's the way we're going to do it. We're going to take the word parent: P-A-R-E-N-T
• And make an acrostic that will help you understand what it means to be a Christian parent

P- PERSON

• The first letter of the word parent is P and we're going to let the P stand for PERSON
• A talented and God-gifted person for sure
• But at the end of the day a simple human being
• I know many of you watch the sitcom Scrubs^®
• Anybody remember the first two lines of the show's theme song?
• I can't do this all on my own. I'm no superman.
• Parents-
• God hasn't called you to be a superman or a superwoman
• And He doesn't expect you to be a so-called perfect parent
• There is only one perfect parent
• And He resides in heaven!
• What God HAS called you to do is rear your children to become mature, self-controlled, Spirit-filled men and women of God
• Which is a breathtakingly difficult job for a simple human being
• After Matthew was born it stressed me out so bad I went to the doctor thinking I was about to have a heart attack
• But here's what I've learned over the years: When God asks you to do something for Him
• He is ALWAYS willing to provide the help, strength and guidance you need to accomplish the task
• All you need to do is learn to depend on Him

Proverbs 3:5-6

• Please- if you don't get anything else out of this sermon please take this to heart
• You are a human being- an imperfect person
• That's why you MUST look to your Heavenly Father for the wisdom you need to fulfill your God-given responsibilities as a parent

A-AUTHORITY

• The second letter in parent is A and we're going to let the A stand for AUTHORITY
• Parents- make no mistake about it: God intends for you to have authority over your children
• Now the word authority means: The power to command, determine, influence or judge
• What does this mean in the context of parenting?
• It means you have to be an adult
• You have to exercise control and be THE authority-figure in your home

Proverbs 22:6

Ephesians 6:4

• I know some of you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of being an authority figure
• Maybe you think: But I want to be my child's friend
• Well let me put in this way:
• That may be what you want-
• But it's most definitely NOT what your child needs
• Children need parents who will exercise godly authority in their life. This means...
• You set- and enforce- the standards they will live by
• You create reasonable- but challenging expectations for your child
• You establish the boundaries for what is acceptable behavior from your child
• The bottom line is: YOU are the adult- and THEY are the child
• And don't YOU forget it
• And don't YOU let THEM forget it
• Illustration: What I Learned
• When I was growing up I didn't always like the rules my parents expected me to follow
• From time-to-time I'd...raise perfectly logical objections
• I'd ask: Why do I have to do this? or Why can't I do that?
• But the answer would be the same: Because we are your parents
• They didn't even bother to add the caveat and we said so
• The fact that they were my parents meant I had to obey them
• Now it's a good idea to explain the reasons behind the rules you set for your children
• For one thing- you generally get more cooperation when you do
• And the process of explaining gives you a golden opportunity to talk about your faith and values with your kids
• But if push comes to shove- and your children try to insist on their own way
• Stand firm- exercise authority in your home
• It is your right and responsibility as a Christian parent

R-RADICAL

• The third letter in parent is R and we're going to let the R stand for RADICAL
• The word radical simply means different- and that's what you have to understand as a parent
• Each of your children is different
• Even though they're growing up in the same home- each one is different from the other

Psalm 139:13-16

• You know- God has an amazing ability-
• To take a basic form- the human mind and body
• And create uniquely individual human beings
• My brother Bob and I illustrate this point
• Bob is.../ On the other hand I...
• A brilliant mathematician- he's chairman of the Department of Mathematics at Gardner-Webb University
• Hated algebra, struggled with geometry, and wouldn't have been caught dead in a calculus class
• Bob can.../ I...
• Go two years without picking up a golf club- and shoot a round in the upper 70's or low 80's
• Rarely go two weeks without playing- and can't break 90 for the life of me
• Of course I am also older, thinner and better looking than he is- so it all balances out
• I've even got more hair than he's got
• But as the choir can tell you...we're not talking about all that much in either case!
• Look- I've never bought into the theory that says you should treat each of your children the same
• Now you should LOVE them equally and unconditionally
• But as a parent- you MUST-
• Recognize the differences in each of your children
• Respect those differences as the perfect choice of an awesome and infallible Creator God
• And then respond to each of your children as their individual needs dictate
• It's not easy
• It's simpler to follow a one size fits all model of parenting
• But if you want your children to be all that God created them to be- you've got to be a radical parent

E-ENVIRONMENTALIST

• The fourth letter in parent is E and we're going to let the E stand for ENVIRONMENTALIST
• Now I'll be honest:
• I accept the science that says global warming is a reality- and a catastrophic threat for the future
• I also believe that we as Christians-
• Who are charged with caring for God's creation
• We ought to be willing to make lifestyle changes- even if it means paying higher taxes- to stop it before it's too late
• But that's not what I'm talking about when I say parents have to be environmentalists
• The environment I'm talking about is your home
• Specifically the responsibility you have to protect your child from the violence, filth and immorality that passes for popular culture in America today
• Think about it. On television...
• Network programs like CSI^® depict sex, violence and nudity in a way that would have been unimaginable 20 years ago
• And heaven knows almost anything goes on cable- particularly on the movie channels like HBO^®, Cinemax^® and Showtime^®
• The Internet is one of the greatest educational resources that has ever been invented
• Your child can find EVERYTHING on the Web with a few clicks of the mouse
• Unfortunately everything also includes access to the vilest, more hardcore pornography imaginable
• And then you've got things like:
• Violent, sexually explicit video games and movies- pop music that comes with Parental Advisories
• I mean the list just goes on-and-on-and-on
• The question is:
• How are you supposed to rear healthy kids in this kind of environment?
• Well- there are several things you have to do
• First of all- know what's going on out there
• Don't pretend that it doesn't exist
• And don't think your kids aren't exposed to it- they are
• Second- exercise self discipline
• The entertainment choices you make can- and do- affect your children
• That means YOU may have to skip the latest movie- or get rid of some DVD's- or listen to a different playlist on your iPod^®
• Third- provide your kids with other choices
• There are a lot of good and wholesome entertainment options out there
• They're a little harder to find- but they are available
• Fourth- when your child IS exposed to inappropriate material treat it as a teachable moment
• Talk to your kids about why...a certain scene depicted behavior that was morally wrong
• And more importantly- teach them what Jesus would expects them to do in similar circumstances
• And finally- don't be afraid to say NO
• Be willing to take the tough stand
• Tell your kids you won't let them-
• See certain movies
• Or play particular video games
• Or listen to some kinds of music
• Now if they're teenagers they might yell- or scream- or pout
• But remember: You are the parent
• And that means that ultimately God expects you to control the kind of environment that exists in your home

N-NUDIST

• The fifth letter in parent is N and we're going to let the N stand for NUDIST
• Now don't be shocked
• And don't think this means you have to sashay around the house in your birthday suit
• What I mean by nudist is that you need to be transparent with your children. In other words:
• If you make a mistake- or you say or do the wrong thing
• You make sure your child hears you say the words: I'm sorry. I was wrong
• Read what the Bible says:
• Ephesians 6:4
• James 5:16
• James Dobson says that children in general- and teenagers in particular- have a highly developed sense of justice
• Kids EXPECT to be disciplined when they do something wrong
• They may not LIKE it
• But they expect it
• But they also expect justice to cut both ways
• The fastest way to loose your child's respect is to demand something from them
• That you won't apply to yourself
• Illustration: Apologizing To Matthew
• I remember one time- Matthew was about 6-7 years old- Pam had gone shopping
• Anyway I thought Matthew had done something I had told him not to do
• So I punished him: Sit down in that chair and don't move a muscle ‘til I tell you to
• Anyway- 5 minutes later Pam gets home- and I find out she'd done the thing I was punishing Matthew for
• Immediately I went to him and said: I'm so sorry Bud. I was punishing you for something you hadn't done. Will you please forgive me?
• I'll never forget he hopped out of the chair- smiled- and said: It's o-k Daddy! I forgive you!
• Moms and Dads- let's face it:
• We ALL screw up from time-to-time
• Let's learn to be mature enough to admit it-
• And then move on!
• It will be a lesson in Christ-like behavior your children will never forget

T-THEOLOGIAN

• The sixth- and final- letter in parent is T and we're going to let the T stand for THEOLOGIAN
• A theologian is someone who studies the truth of God- and then interprets those truths for others
• That's your job as a parent
• You're supposed to know the truths of God's Word so you can teach them to your children

Deuteronomy 11:18-21

• Now read what the Bible says in Acts 4:12
• Parents- the most important thing you will do for your child is to teach them the essential truths of God's Word
• Help them learn God's precepts and principles
• Live out a life of faith that boldly proclaims God's amazing grace and love
• Don't just send them to church- bring them to God's House on God's Day
• And finally- be prepared to sit down with them and share the Plan of Salvation
• For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God of God
• For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord
• God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
• Believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved
• Sometimes parents will ask me: Steve is my son or daughter old enough to make a public profession of faith, join the church and be baptized?
• The truth is- You know your child a lot better than I do
• I'm convinced some kids are ready to make that decision when they're six or seven years old
• Other children are a little older before they understand what it means to receive Jesus as their personal Savior and Lord
• But here's what I DO know:
• It's NEVER too early to tell your child about God's love
• Lay those foundations early- and trust God to do the rest
• Illustration: Austin
• A couple of weeks ago Debbie Medlin shared a story about her son Austin
• It seems she was working out in the garage and Austin asked her if he could have some nails
• Debbie knew Rodney had showed Austin how to safely use a hammer and nail
• So she gave him a few nails without really giving it a second thought
• In a little while Austin came back into the garage.
• He'd used the nails to make a cross
• He told Debbie: We need to put this up on this wall so we don't forget what Jesus did
• Isn't that awesome?
• Here is a young child who understands the fundamental truth of God's Word
• Here is a child whose parents- and grandparents- are teaching him the truths of the Bible
• Here is a child who will undoubtedly receive Jesus as his personal Savior and Lord some day
• During our revival Mark Harris made this observation: We teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are
• As a parent- you are your child's primary teacher
• If you live a life of faith- and teach them God's Word- you WILL reproduce an adult who will
• Stand up and be counted for God
• And- in turn- teach THEIR children about the love of God in Christ Jesus

CONCLUSION

• The great philosopher and humanitarian Kermit the Frog once lamented that it's not easy being green
• Kermit should try being a parent
• Now that's just plain HARD!
• But it's also rewarding
• It's rewarding when your child comes up to you and gives you a big hug and kiss
• It's rewarding when you watch them receive Christ as their Savior and follow Jesus in believer's baptism
• It's rewarding when you see your child mature and learn to make good choices in life
• It's rewarding when you see them marry and start a family of their own
• But the greatest reward for being a good parent will come when you stand before God and hear Him say:
• Well done good and faithful servant! You fulfilled the responsibility I gave you to rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Come and share your Master's happiness
• What an honor and privilege THAT will be
• Let us pray