May 6, 2007 - I'M TELLING YOU AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS

• The title for this morning's message is not original
• Which is a nice way of saying that I stole it from someone else
• In this case the person I stole it from is Jerry Seinfeld
• After finishing his legendary television series Seinfeld taped a comedy special
• In the show Jerry-
• Rehashed some of his funniest and most requested routines from the past
• Warning the audience that this was the last time he would ever use that material
• Hence the title I'm Telling You Again For The Last Time
• I wish that were the case with this morning's sermon
• See today we're going to talk about practicing the Christian virtue of forgiveness
• Over the years I've preached a lot of sermons on forgiveness
• I'd like to THINK this would be the last time I'd ever have to go over this with you
• But I know it won't be
• See here's the thing:
• No matter how long you've been saved- no matter how many sermons you've heard preached on the subject
• Practicing forgiveness will always be extremely difficult
• See practicing forgiveness flies in the face of every instinct we have as human beings
• Human reason says: They hurt you once- make sure they NEVER get a chance to hurt you again
• Human memory says: I'm NEVER going to let you ‘let go' of this thing
• Human nature says: Someone's hurt you! Don't even THINK about forgiving them!
• As if all this wasn't enough-
• Satan is always in there fanning the flames
• Practice forgiveness? Don't be a FOOL!
• Burn the memory of this event into your brain
• Then pledge to get even! Hurt them as badly as they hurt you!
• But you know what folks?
• Following those human instincts inevitably leads to misery and spiritual bondage
• On the other hand- Making the decision to practice forgiveness leads to a sense of freedom and spiritual joy that transcends human understanding
• So this morning I want to share seven simple steps...
• That will help you learn how to practice the art of forgiveness
• And discover the kind of peace that only God can bring

REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU!

• The first step in this process is so simple it should be self-evident: Remember that God has already forgiven you!
• Turn with me to Matthew 18:23-35
• Doesn't this story make your blood boil?
• You'd think that after what the king had done for him- this man would have been ready to show a little mercy to the man who owed him money
• But there was a problem: Nothing had changed in this man's life:
• He walked into the palace a thief and a con artist
• And he walked out with nothing but contempt in his heart: What kind of IDIOT would forgive a debt like that? Anyone that STUPID doesn't deserve my respect- and has no business being my king!
• If you're a Christian- if you've received Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord- you need to remember what that means:
• It means that Jesus has done something for you that you could NEVER do for yourself
• It means that you've been saved by God's amazing grace- and that all your works and good deeds had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it
• It means you've been forgiven a debt you could never HOPE to repay in a thousand lifetimes!
• And all your Heavenly Father asks you to do- as an expression of thanksgiving and worship
• Is to practice forgiveness
• He wants you to share with others what you've received in your own life!
• Now if you...
• Truly love God- and appreciate what He's done for you- you'll have all the motivation you need
• Scorn God- and believe His grace is the evidence of a weak-minded loser- you'll be like the ungrateful servant
• Lost in your sin
• Imprisoned by a dark, sinister bitterness that will ultimately destroy you
• So the first step in following God's plan of forgiveness is to remember that you've been forgiven by the grace of God

TURN THE PAIN OVER TO GOD

• Here's a fact: It hurts to be the victim of sin
• Sometimes the pain is physical- sometimes it's emotional- and sometimes the pain is spiritual
• But being victimized by sin ALWAYS hurts
• And if that hurt is left to fester- it will INEVITABLY produce an unforgiving spirit
• Listen to what the Bible says in Psalm 37:7-8
• One of the ironies of harboring hatred and rage is that ultimately the only person it hurts is YOU!
• Rather than being able to move on and experience the joy and abundant life Jesus wants to give you
• You wind up stuck in the past constantly wrestling with-
• The same old hurts
• The same old pains
• The same old heartbreaks
• When you're caught up in this vicious cycle the only answer is to turn the hurt over to God
• Illustration: Jack
• When a friend of mine began to make his peace with a painful past he told me something I'll never forget
• For years I tried to suppress the memories of the beatings I'd received when my dad was in a drunken rage. I wanted to pretend Dad loved me like other fathers loved their sons.
• But it didn't work. I was forty-six years old- and I was still struggling with stuff that happened to me when I was seven...
• Finally I told God: ‘Lord- it hurts to know that my dad didn't love me'- and He told me: ‘But Jack- I'm your Heavenly Father- and I DO love you!'
• Folks- when your heart is filled with bitterness and resentment and anger
• God doesn't recoil in horror
• Instead He reaches out in love and says: Let me take care of that.
• And with those words He'll heal the painful wounds
• And give you a heart that is overflowing with joy- and a willingness to forgive!

DON'T TRY TO DO THINGS YOU CAN NOT DO

• Have you ever heard someone say something like this: As a Christian you're supposed to forgive and FORGET?
• Unless you've been living under a rock all your life-I'm sure you have
• It's one of those things people- who have nothing but good intentions- say that can drive you crazy
• I mean as if it's not hard enough to practice forgiveness in the first place
• Now they expect you to erase all the memories of the event from your brain
• Fact: There is NOTHING in the Bible that suggests God expects you to forgive and forget
• You heard me right- NOTHING
• In His infinite wisdom God created you- and gave you the gift of memory
• And unless you develop amnesia or Alzheimer's disease
• You're not going to forget things that have happened in the past
• Do you think Erin Sheehan will ever forget what happened to her during the Virginia Tech massacre?
• Not likely- not after Chou Seung Hui left her with the scars of three gunshot wounds
• For the rest of her life she'll see those bullet wounds every time she changes clothes- and she'll remember the events of April 16, 2007
• ...Now it's different where God is concerned
• When a person receives Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord
• The Bible says that an All Powerful, All Gracious, All Loving God chooses to remember their sin no more

Isaiah 43:25

• Folks- as human beings we don't get to make that choice
• The simple fact is that some things are so painful- so scarring- so devastating- that you'll NEVER be able to forget them
• Thinking that you have to that is one of the most vicious lies Satan can place in your mind
• You see, the Bible is really asking us to do something that's more difficult than forgiving and forgetting
• The Bible instructs us to practice forgiveness
• Even though we remember the sin
• And that's tough
• That takes- make that REQUIRES- God's help
• And of which brings me to the next step in the forgiveness process...

PRAY FOR A WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE

• Turn with me to Matthew 6:9-13
• I want you to notice what Jesus says in verse 12: Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
• Jesus is teaching you to pray for a heart that is WILLING to forgive others for the sins and wrongs they've committed against you
• And folks
• Until you're ready to pray this prayer- and really mean it
• You'll NEVER be able to practice the kind of forgiveness God requires!
• For many years Dr. Tom Elliff served as a Southern Baptist missionary in Zimbabwe
• Today he is pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dell City, Oklahoma
• In a sermon entitled Praying For The Grace To Forgive he told this story:

...Not long after my family and I went to Africa, my wife and children were involved in a very serious accident, leaving my eldest daughter critically injured. Lying in a hospital, she was for a time at the very point of death. The third day following the accident, I received a phone call from a police officer in a town not far from where the accident occurred. He asked me to come to his office so we could discuss some matters regarding the incident. I assumed that the purpose of our discussion was to inform me that since it was a single vehicle accident, my wife was going to be charged with negligence. Instead he said, "We believe the accident occurred because someone tampered with your vehicle." He then proceeded to show me photographs and other evidence to support his conclusion. He believed that the accident was caused by individuals wanting to steal the vehicle. We agreed that a search for the guilty parties would be fruitless. That evening as I traveled back to our hometown, I felt anger boiling in my heart. I wanted to scream out to God, "Where were You when we needed You?" Upon arriving at our house, I fell on my knees and said, "Dear God, I came to this country to minister to these people, but I feel so angry. You are going to have to teach me how to forgive."

• Folks- to date the Human Genome project has detected no forgiveness gene located on human DNA
• That's why you have to PRAY that God will place a willingness to forgive in your heart
• Because without that gift you will NEVER be able to experience the joy of practicing Christian forgiveness

CONFRONT THE ONE WHO HAS SINNED AGAINST YOU IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE

• Turn with me to Matthew 18:15-17
• Now we come to the hard part
• You might be thinking: Steve- you think everything you've talking about so far isn't hard?
• No- that's not what I mean at all
• Practicing forgiveness is hard work- PERIOD
• But this may be the hardest part of all
• See- what you have here is Jesus' 4-step process for being reconciled with someone who has sinned against you. Notice what He says:
• First- you go to that person and lovingly confront them with the pain they've caused in your life
• If that doesn't work- you bring a mutual Christian friend to talk with the person
• If those two steps fail to achieve a reconciliation- then you bring the person before the assembled church
• If all these steps don't work- you're still not off the hook
• At that point you are to treat them like a pagan or a tax collector.
• In other words: Treat them like someone who is outside the kingdom of God
• And what do you do for someone who's outside the kingdom of God?
• You pray for them!
• You ask God to work in their life so that they will come to know Jesus as their personal Savior and Lord
• A lot of people are going to read these verses of Scripture and think: I can't do that! I hate confrontations.
• Folks- Jesus isn't trying to make you have a lifetime of painful showdowns with other people
• It's just that He knows that this is the ONLY way to be fully reconciled with someone who's sinned against you
• Look- there is a power in the words I'm sorry- will you forgive me?
• When a sinner says those words to God He forgives them of their sin, and saves them for all eternity
• When one person says them to another person- they have the power to heal and redeem even the worst anger and division

ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE OTHER PERSON'S RESPONSE

• Illustration: Vicki's Heartbreak
• Vicki Thompson was heartbroken when she learned that her husband had had an affair
• She felt betrayed and angry and depressed
• But being a committed Christian Vicki wanted to make her marriage work
• So she sought out pastoral counseling, prayed about the situation and decided to seek a reconciliation with her husband
• Suffice it to say: It didn't go the way Vicki hoped
• She told her husband how badly she'd been hurt- but that she was willing to forgive him and start over again
• His response cut her to the bone: I'm not sorry about what I did- I do it again tomorrow if I could. The fact is I don't love you anymore- I want a divorce!
• Folks- a lot of people have these kinds of experiences when they try to practice forgiveness
• Perhaps the other person won't ask for your forgiveness or even acknowledge the pain they've caused
• Sometimes you can't even contact the person who hurt you
• This is what happens to a lot of people who were abused as children
• The perpetrator of the abuse may not even be alive
• The question is: What happens then?
• Well- if you've done all that God has asked you to do- you don't have to worry!
• God isn't going hold you responsible for the other person's reaction
• Look- God knows what you're going through!
• He's offered His gift of salvation to anyone who will confess their sin- and ask Jesus to be their Savior
• It breaks His heart when people reject this offer of grace and forgiveness
• But that's what people do
• Everyday people say NO to God
• Trust me-
• When someone rebuffs your efforts at reconciliation
• An understanding God is going to say: Child, don't worry about that! You've done what I've asked YOU to do- and I'm going to bless you because you've been faithful to Me!

BE RECONCILED TO ONE ANOTHER

• BUT- let's say the person repents and asks for your forgiveness. What do you do then?
• It's simple:
• You must forgive them of the sin
• And be reconciled to them as an act of worship and obedience to God
• IOW: You have to make a choice to love that person and treat them as if the sin had never happened
• If you want to know what it means to love someone like that- turn with me over to 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
• There it is folks- the final step in God's plan of forgiveness
• Show another person that you love them in the name of Jesus!
• Not because it's easy- or because they're particularly lovable- or because they deserve to be forgiven
• Do it because you're a born-again child of God
• And you are grateful for the difference Jesus has made in your life!

CONCLUSION

• Sue Norton couldn't imagine why anyone would want to harm her elderly father
• After all, he-
• Lived in a clapboard farmhouse
• Didn't have a lot of money- or many material possessions
• But in 1990 a drifter named B.K. Knighton murdered Sue's father for $17.00 and an old pick-up truck
• Police quickly apprehended Knighton and charged him with first-degree murder
• During the trial Sue sat in the courthouse with ambivalent feelings
• She wanted to hate Knighton- but she couldn't. She kept telling her friends: It just doesn't feel good.
• On the last night of the trial- Sue ...
• Couldn't sleep- so she began to pray pouring out her pain and confusion to God
• Finally- in her spirit- she heard a voice that said: Sue, you don't have to hate BK. You can forgive him.
• The next morning she asked for the opportunity to meet Knighton in his jail cell.
• Sue says: I was really frightened...B.K. was big and tall, he was shackled and had cold, steely eyes.
• At first he wouldn't look at me. Finally I asked him to turn around and he said: ‘Why would you want to talk to me after what I've done?'
• Sue looked in his eyes and said: I don't know what to say to you. But I want you to know that I don't hate you. My grandmother always taught me not to use the word hate. She taught me that we are here to love one another. If you are guilty, I forgive you.
• B.K. Knighton was convicted of first-degree murder later that afternoon- and sentenced to death
• During his years on death row Sue would visit him regularly and talk about her relationship with Christ
• Because of her friendship B.K. came to know Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and Lord
• Eventually the state of Oklahoma executed Knighton for the murder of Sue Norton's father
• That was hard for Sue. She thought B.K. should spend the rest of his life in prison
• But she didn't want to see him executed. She wanted him to be able to continue to share his faith with other prisoners
• After B.K.'s death Sue began to travel the country sharing her experiences with church groups and civic organizations
• She always tells them the same thing: There is no way to heal and get over the trauma (of murder) without forgiveness. You must forgive...and get on with your life. That is what Jesus would do.
• She even celebrates the good that came from it: I have been able to witness to many people about Jesus and forgiveness and helped others to heal. I have brought ...many other men on death row to our Lord Jesus Christ. I live in peace with my Lord! (www.catherineblountfnd.org)
• Practicing the Christian virtue of forgiveness.
• It's never easy
• But it brings spiritual blessings that are impossible to measure or comprehend.
• Let us pray