INTRODUCTORY REMARKS
- The International Star Registry has the PERFECT gift for Valentine's Day
- I know it's perfect because they say so in their radio ad
- It's a one-on-a-kind, out-of-this-world gift that will show someone how much you TRULY love them
- For a mere $145.00 the ISR will name a star after someone you love!
- Among other services they will...
- Register the name of your star with the U.S. Patent Office
- Send your loved one a framed picture of his or her star
- Include a book written by a professional astronomer
- And send a personalized letter of congratulations to the lucky recipient
- Ah yes...nothing says hunka-hunka burnin' love quite like a giant ball of plasma and gas!
- I can only imagine Pam's reaction if I named a star after her
- You spent $145 for a photograph- a form letter- and a $5.00 book of astronomy?
- Have you lost your MIND?
- Don't worry honey
- I wish I could give you the sun, the moon and the stars above
- ...But it'll probably wind up be something from Target
TRANSITIONAL REMARKS
- This morning we're continuing our sermon series on Life Lessons
- And we're going to be focusing on a subject that is particularly timely during this Valentine's week
- How you and your spouse can build a better marriage
- This morning I want to share some time-tested, Biblical secrets that will:
- Help you transform a good marriage into a great marriage
- With all that in mind- let's get started.
SET YOUR PRIORITIES
- People who are successful tend to have one thing in common: They're good at setting priorities
- It doesn't matter what you're talking about
- These people stay focused on what's really important- and don't get bogged down with the small stuff
- The same principle applies to building a better marriage:
- You have to set your priorities
- You have to stay focused on what GOD thinks is really important
- Please read Genesis 1:26-27
- To say that human beings were created in His image means we have the ability to have a personal relationship with God
- It's what makes us different from the animals
- It's what makes human life sacred
- It also means:
- God intends for your relationship with Him to be the most important priority in your life
- Jesus puts it this way: ...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)
- Now turn over to Genesis 2:18-23
- What's this of passage of Scripture saying?
- Marriage was created by God
- And His intention was that marriage would be the most important relationship that can exist between two human beings
- Now let's look at Genesis 4:1-2
- Now understand what this means:
- God's intent was that children be the product of a healthy, loving marriage between a man and a woman
- And that those children would be reared in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
- So what are God's priorities for your life?
- Put God first
- Put your spouse second
- Put your children third
- Put everything else- including family, friends, church and work next
- If you do this.../ If you don't...
- God will bless you and help you have a marriage that will fulfill all your needs and desires
- Your marriage- and your life- will never be all God wants it to be
- So...
- The first thing you have to do in building a better marriage is to set your priorities
- The next thing you need to do is...
- Nobody has a perfect marriage...nobody!
- You can't take two imperfect people-
- Put them together
- And expect to have a perfect relationship
- But that doesn't mean you shouldn't aim for perfection in your marriage
- Maybe I'd better explain what perfection in marriage means
- It doesn't mean you'll never have any conflicts or problems in your marriage
- Perfection means you are striving to achieve God's purpose for your life together in Christ
- Look at what it says in Genesis 2:24
- When most people look at this verse they tend to think it means marital sex
- And that's certainly a part of it
- In the act of sex two people are joined together as one
- But that's not all God's Word is saying here
- When you married your husband or wife
- A new creation was formed in the eyes of God
- For instance- when Pam and I were married on August 2, 1980 a new life came into existence
- That...
- Didn't mean I stopped being Steve...and Pam stopped being Pam
- What it means is that at that moment we were spiritually fused together in the eyes of God
- So that until death does us part...
- I can no longer see myself as separate from Pam
- And she can no longer see herself as separate from me
- In Ephesians 5:32 Paul describes this mystical union as a profound mystery
- In other words: Only God can understand this completely
- But as a Christian couple you're supposed to recognize that this new creation exists
- What do good parents do when they have a new baby?
- They take care of it! They love it!
- They nurture it! They protect it!
- They do everything in their power to see that their baby becomes the person God created them to be!
- The same principle applies to the new creation that was established when you were married
- As husband and wife you don't neglect God's new creation or take it for granted
- You care for it! You love it! You nurture it! You protect it! You do everything in your power to make it all that God intends it to be
- So in building a better marriage you need to:
- Set your priorities
- Aim for perfection
- Then you need to:
ASSUME YOUR ROLE
- Now before I go any further I'd like to say that-
- I think a woman can do anything a man can do. Women should not be held back because they happen to have two X chromosomes
- I don't even have a problem with the idea of a woman becoming President of the United States...
- The RIGHT woman mind you
- I'll just leave it at that!
- The reason I bring this up is because when I say that a woman must submit to her husband in marriage
- I'm not being a male, sexist pig
- I'm being faithful to the testimony of God's Word
- Please read Ephesians 5:22-24
- Let me explain what it means for a wife to submit to her husband
- First of all- it doesn't mean that:
- Her husband has the right to abuse her or treat her like a slave
- She has to do everything her husband says
- In fact- if he asks her to sin against God
- She CAN'T do what he wants her to do
- Here's what Biblical submission means:
- A woman must recognize that God has appointed her husband to be the spiritual head of their home
- She not only has to recognize it
- She has to support- and encourage- him in this role
- Beyond that there should be a total equality between a man and a woman in Christian marriage
- So- what does it mean for a man to be the spiritual head of the home? Guys- it means...
- You have the primary responsibility for the spiritual condition of your home
- You must take the lead in prayer, Bible study and worship within your home
- You must do everything in your power to rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
- And finally it means you must be prepared to share the plan of salvation with your kids at the appropriate time
- And believe it or not- that's the easy part
- In Ephesians 5:25 men are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
- In other words:
- You have to love your wife so much
- That you would gladly and willingly lay down your life for her sake
- In their book Becoming One Don and Sally Meredith describe the roles a husband and wife should assume in a marriage:
- Today people don't like to talk about the roles men and women are supposed to assume in marriage
- But here's the thing- when...
- Wives submit to their husbands as unto the Lord
- And husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church
- That marriage will rest on the solid foundation of the Word of God- and it will be blessed!
- So in building a better marriage you need to:
- Set your priorities
- Aim for perfection
- Assume your role
- Then you need to:
God chose a rib, as opposed to a piece of the foot or head to signify the perfect picture of the relationship of a wife to her husband. She is under the protection of the man's arm but protects the man's most vital part- his heart. She was not take from his head to rule over him, nor from his feet to be beneath him, but is alongside to complete him, and he her
GIVE IT YOUR 100%
- You know- I hate it when coaches and athletes say: We gave it a 110% out there!
- Listen- it's impossible for anyone to give 110%
- 100% means EVERYTHING you've got- there's nothing more to give
- If you still have 10% to give
- It means you wouldn't have been giving it a 100%
- Folks- if you want a great marriage you've got to be willing to give 100% of yourself
- You can't hold anything back
- There can't be anything left for you to give
- 1 Corinthians 13 expresses this truth when it describes love as a series of actions directed at another person
- In other words:
- Genuine love means
- You put the other person first
- Meeting their needs- addressing their concerns- fulfilling their desires should be your top priority in life
- Ephesians 5:21 puts it this way: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
- But Steve- what about MY needs? Don't they count for something? What about ME?
- Well- it's like this. If...
- You're giving 100% of yourself to your husband or wife
- And they're giving 100% of themselves to you
- Both of you will have your needs and concerns and desires met
- By the way- everything I just said is impossible
- Nobody is capable of giving 100% of their self to another person
- It's part of our sin nature
- On our own we are helplessly- hopelessly- selfish and self-centered
- In fact- the only way to come close to giving 100% is to depend on the indwelling power and presence of the Holy Spirit in your life
- So in building a better marriage you need to:
- Set your priorities
- Aim for perfection
- Assume your role
- Give it your 100%
- Then you need to:
FIGHT FOR PEACE
- Everybody Loves Raymond was- and is- one of the most popular sitcoms in television history
- But I can't stand it
- I find it annoying- depressing
- And not particularly funny
- I mean- every episode is essentially the same
- Ray and Debra are arguing- and putting one another down
- Frank and Marie are arguing- and putting one another down
- Let's put it this way:
- If the Barone marriages are typical
- Then marriage is in more trouble than I think
- See here's the thing- marriages:
- Don't succeed in environments where there is a constant state of conflict- turmoil and degrading comments directed at one another
- Succeed when there is a mutual commitment to live in peace and harmony with one another
- Romans 12:18 offers this word of instruction: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
- Now if God expects Christians to strive to live in peace and harmony with EVERYONE
- It's a given He expects you to strive to live in peace and harmony with your husband or wife!
- Now this means two things:
- One- you accept the fact that no conflict in your marriage can be allowed to be more important than the marriage itself
- And two- you make a commitment to resolve all issues in a loving and Christ-like manner
- When I do premarital counseling I tell couples there are two kinds of issues that come up in a marriage
- There are big things
- And little things
- Big things aren't a problem- because they demand immediate attention
- I mean if your child falls and gets a big gash on their forehead
- You don't debate what you're going to do next
- You put the kid in the car
- And rush to the emergency room
- It's the little things that get you
- Things you try to ignore
- Things that make you keep saying It doesn't matter
- Until you reach the breaking point
- And then it matters a LOT
- A better approach is to follow the Biblical instruction
- Deal with things as they come up
- With the express goal of living in peace and harmony with one another
- So in building a better marriage you need to:
- Set your priorities
- Aim for perfection
- Assume your role
- Give it your 100%
- Fight for peace
- Then you need to:
REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS
- I'm sure Cliff and Jessie Mae Boyd have long since died and gone on to be with the Lord
- But to this day when I think of a couple that had a great marriage- I think of them
- They'd been married for sixty years- and still walked to church hand-in-hand
- They were forever exchanging loving glances- and calling each other pet names
- Conversation:
- I once asked Cliff their secret
- I'll never forget what he said: Steve I never forget that Jessie Mae is God's gift to me.
- If you're sitting near your spouse I want you to look at one another
- Do you realize that he or she is God's gift to you?
- Do you understand that God made them to be your friend- your lover- your helper- your soul mate- your companion throughout life's journey?
- Do you realize that you're not together because of some accident of chemistry and romance
- Do you understand that you are together because God has given you a truly wonderful gift?
- James 1:17 expresses this truth when it says: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...
- One of the most common complaints I hear wives make is that my husband takes me for granted
- And I'll admit- that's easy to do
- Especially when you've been together for a long time
- But-
- If you ALWAYS remember...
- That your husband or wife is a gift from God
- To give God thanks for the precious gift He's given you
- It will be IMPOSSIBLE for you to take one another for granted ever again!
- So once more let's review what we've learned. If you want to build a better marriage you need to:
- Set your priorities
- Aim for perfection
- Assume your role
- Give it your 100%
- Fight for peace
- Remember to give thanks
- And finally you need to:
RECOGNIZE THE HOLY
- The Bible says that when Moses approached the Burning Bush God said: Take off your shoes Moses because the ground you're standing on is holy ground!
- The point is you treat that which is holy- you treat the things of God
- With awe and wonder and reverence and respect
- One of the reasons why there are so many 'disposable' marriages today is because we've lost the sense of holiness in marriage
- The Bible says: Those whom God has brought together- let no man put asunder
- Folks- GOD...
- Brings people together in the bonds of Christian marriage for life
- Wants our marriages to be a reflection of our spiritual relationship with God in Christ Jesus
- Expects us to respect- and treasure- the marriage He has created
- I've said this before- but I'm not comfortable with jokes that demean marriage
- I don't mind sharing funny stories about my life with Pam
- But things that belittle what God created- that's dangerous stuff
- Remember-
- Marriage was God's idea
- And that means your marriage represents holy ground!
- Pam and I always try to recognize the sacredness at the heart of our marriage
- Our goal is to make our marriage into a witness to the saving grace and power of Christ
- Our security comes from knowing that Jesus is the Lord of our marriage
- Do you recognize the holy center of your marriage? Is there a sacred center to your marriage?
- If the answer is No- your marriage will never be fully blessed by God
- If the answer is No- you need to turn your life- and your marriage- completely and totally over to God
- Are you ready to build a better marriage? Let us pray
